The Adventures of Batman and Abbey

Here, the amazing Batman shows off his serious punching power...and then gets some support from his trusty sidekick.

Now, we're off to Wal-Mart--wearing the entire Batman getup, of course. Holy rollback prices, Batman!

POSTSCRIPT: Crimefighters never rest. At Wal-Mart, I parked Batman/Max in my cart at the end of a crowded aisle so he couldn't see me picking out his Valentine's Day presents. While I was browsing, I heard Max scream, "OWWWWWWWWWW!" I looked over and saw that a very young and very frightened-looking stockboy had accidentally bumped my cart with his own overloaded wheeled pallet of merchandise. He looked at me apologetically as Max began to announce loudly to everyone within 100 feet: "That man crashed my cart! He hit me! He hit me!" I tried to comfort the young man as he began to blush and stutter, but it was to no avail. All of the customers were now looking at him--this offensive brute who had so callously crashed into the innocent toddler--and he simply turned tail and ran. I hope he doesn't lose too much sleep tonight wondering if he inadvertently incurred a lawsuit.