I'm PUPO!!!

I am thrilled to announce that our transfer went perfectly. Butch was a top-quality 3-day embryo. He had already surpassed the 8-cell mark and was almost fully "smoothed out"--looking more like a blastocyst than a fragmented embryo. The transfer was smooth and took just seconds, and now I'm PUPO (that's "pregnant until proven otherwise" for those of you not familar with TTC jargon)!

Now I'm going to put my feet up so he can snuggle in and get comfortable. The dreaded 2-week wait is upon us...but I'm glad it's finally here!

Embryo Transfer Today

Well, it's 6:30 a.m. CST, and I have been up for more than two hours already. We don't have to be at the lab for our transfer until noon, but I cannot relax. I have to say, though, the past couple of days have done me some good. I have gone from being devastated to cautiously optimistic to (just now) a little excited. I mean, seriously, SOME part of this cycle has to go smoothly, right? RIGHT?!

If this one little guy had the strength to develop, considering the sorry lot he came from, then there must be something super-special about him. I'm interested to hear how many cells he has now. The more the better. Anyway, I spent this morning getting work for my class done so I can come home and relax afterward. Dr. Dunn doesn't require bedrest after a transfer as some RE's do, but I'm requiring it of myself this time, since our situation is so precarious.

By the way, Billy and I have taken to calling our embryo "Butch." We decided it needed a tough guy's name, and that's what we came up with. I guess we'll have to change it if it turns out to be a girl; the name "Butch" does not bode well for a female child. But it works for now.

I'll post an update later.

Just One Embryo

Well, I am disappointed but not really surprised. At our egg retrieval yesterday, Dr. Dunn was able to aspirate only four eggs. He said that with so few eggs, we would most likely transfer ALL resulting embryos on the third day after retrieval, just to get them back quickly to their "natural environment." However, when the embryologist went to work on them, he noted that only three of the four were mature, and two of those had abnormal morphology. The only good one fertilized normally, but that means the result was a single embryo. One. After all this time.

We are going to transfer the embryo on Monday. It's scary, because honestly, if you look at the statistics, the odds for a single, three-day embryo are not very good. I have been pretty sad and frustrated, needless to say.

Billy has been great, though, and he has really worked hard to raise my spirits today. He refuses to see this as anything but a good omen (at least we won't have multiples!), and he kind of made me think--at this point, there should be no difference in my attitude whether I have one or ten. This one embryo is our potential child, and it deserves every ounce of positive energy and faith that we have. It doesn't make it any less important just because the odds for a successful pregnancy may not be as spectacular. I could have put back three, and THIS ONE might have been the only strong one that survived, right? I just keep telling myself that as of Monday afternoon, I am pregnant, and I will continue to treat myself as if I am until I hear otherwise.

Your continued prayers and kind words are keeping us sane. Thank you so much.

FINALLY!!! We made it!

Well, we finally made it to the end (well, almost) of an IVF cycle. I went for an ultrasound and bloodwork this morning, and my nurse called me at 3 p.m. to confirm that we will have our egg retrieval at 7:30 a.m. Friday morning (the 28th)! We are looking at harvesting a minimum of seven eggs, but there is a possibility we could have as many as ten. Billy and I could not be happier or more relieved. While we would love to have some embryos left over to freeze, all we really want is two good ones to put back next week. Just two. TWO. PLEASE!

Keep us in your prayers.

Happy Easter!

Today, Max hosted an Easter egg hunt for his playgroup, and all the kids had a great time. They wore bunny ears while they searched for eggs and ate cupcakes. Here are a couple of pictures:

Vocabulary Lesson

Here is snippet of a random conversation between Max and me this morning. I was in my underwear, waiting for him to finish on the toilet.

Max: Mommy, what is in your booby?

Me: What is in my booby? Do you mean my bra?

Max: No. What is in your booby?

Me: Well, nothing is really in it. Just skin and fat, I guess. What is in your booby?

Max (as if it is the most obvious answer in the world): My PECTORALS, silly!

Wow. He never ceases to amaze me.

IVF #2 (Part Deux)

By the way, I looked at my stim schedule when I got home today, and I nearly fell over. Dr. Dunn has me on 225 iu of Follistim TWICE daily; the most I have ever done before is 375 per day. Then he has me adding in another stim--Menopur--on day 3. Even the most hardened IVFers I know were shocked and awed by these doses. I am going to make a MILLION EGGS!!!

Now excuse me while I go dig out my fat pants...

IVF #2 is Full Steam Ahead!

This morning I went to see Dr. Dunn for an ultrasound and bloodwork, and everything looks perfect. I have twelve antral follicles, and they are all exactly the same size, which is a good starting point. He gave me the go-ahead to start my two days of diluted Lupron on Saturday. I will add in the stims on Monday. If all goes according to plan, I will have my egg retrieval on Saturday, March 29. Keep us in your prayers, because this is IT. We're done, emotionally AND financially.

Max and Missy

Max is learning to pretend. Here he is pretending to be asleep behind the end table with Missy:

Here, he has figured out I am taking his picture, but he isn't quite ready to give up the game:

Finally, he knows he is busted...HI, MOMMY!

Corn on the Cob

Ahhh...there's nothing like a barbecue to welcome spring! To celebrate the first long day of Daylight Savings Time, we feasted on ribs and corn on the cob--Max's first experience with both. I was worried he wouldn't be able to eat the corn off the cob, but he did just fine. Here he is showing off his new talent:

Bad Words

Let me preface this post with a warning (and grandmothers, this basically means YOU): Do NOT read any further if you will go blind upon seeing/hearing the F-word.

This morning, I was in the kitchen washing breakfast dishes while Max sat watching television in the next room. As I did my chores, I looked down and noticed that the dog was licking a sippy cup that Max had left on the floor.

"Stop it, Abbey!" I scolded her.

Max wandered into the room. "What did she do, Mommy?" he asked.

"She was licking your cup," I replied.

"That fucking Abbey," he said, shaking his head in disappointment.

I seriously don't know where he gets this stuff, but I for one plan to watch my mouth a little more closely in the future. Sheesh.

Manners

We are trying to teach Max basic manners--you know, like please, thank you, yes ma'am, no ma'am, etc.

The problem is that he has trouble pronouncing the final -m sound in ma'am; the result is that he goes around saying yes, man, and no, man.

So instead of a polite little boy, he sounds like an aging hippie.

It's Pat!

Max and I went to Lowe's home improvement store on Friday to buy some paint. The woman who helped us was, well, a bit masculine, to say the least. She was wearing overalls and combat boots, and a bandana covered her buzz-cut. She wore no makeup, and when she addressed us, her voice was rather deep. She even moved like a man. However, I was still aware that she was female.

Max, on the other hand, was a little more confused. As I was trying to explain my order to "Pat" (as I have begun calling her in my mind), Max inquired loudly, "Mommy, what is THAT?"

I'm sure I turned twelve shades of red, but I ignored him for the moment and continued talking, a strategy that just served to make him MORE curious. He tugged on my sleeve impatiently. "Mommy, what is THAT?" he asked again, this time blatantly pointing at Pat.

I was mortified. I tried to pretend that I didn't know what he was talking about. "What is what, sweetheart?" My eyes darted frantically and finally rested on the bucket of wooden sticks on the counter. "Oh, that--THAT is a paint stirrer!" I announced triumphantly and handed him one, sure I had dodged any further embarrassment.

"No, Mommy--THAT!" he yelled, throwing down the stick so he could again point directly at Pat. "Is that a boy or a girl, Mommy? Is that a BOY or a GIRL? "

There was no avoiding it this time. I was mortified. In retrospect, I should have just honestly answered his question and forged on, but I was so humiliated that I again ignored it. Luckily, Pat just let it go, too.

When I told Teri about the ordeal later, she said the girl had obviously dressed that way for a reason, and she was probably HAPPY that Max couldn't discern her gender. I know she is probably right, but it doesn't make me feel much better. I'm sure it won't be the last time something like this happens, and I hope I react more tactfully next time. Live and learn, I guess.

True Love

Well, most of the time, anyway...

Potty Training: Mission Completed!

Well, I can honestly say that we are now officially FINISHED with potty training. We started in earnest when Max turned two, and he is now exactly two and a half. He no longer needs a Pull-Up at any time, including nighttime. He wakes up dry every morning, and he has learned to hold it when he does not have immediate access to a bathroom.

He loves to tell anyone who will listen, "I'm a big boy, and I don't pee pee in my pants!" We also know when he is preparing to do number two because he will politely announce, "Please leave me alone. I need privacy."

Be sure to congratulate him the next time you see him.

Budding Artist

I introduced Max to fingerpainting this week, and he LOVED it! It's an activity that's tailor-made for him: creative and extremely messy at the same time. I have to admit I got in on the action, too.

I love this picture of his tiny dimpled hands.