OK, Now That I Can Breathe...

I can post an update about what's been going on the past few weeks. Talk about DRAMA...but nothing having to do with fertility/pregnancy/giving birth has EVER been normal in my life!

As most of you know, I cheated and POAS on Tuesday, April 10, a day before my scheduled beta test. I got a clear BFP, so I called Dr. Dunn's office to see if I could go ahead and come in for the blood test. Gloria said come on; no problem.

So I drove up there with Max and Teri and gave my blood. We decided to go over to the zoo and walk around while we waited for my results. I was feeling kind of crampy, but I didn't think much of it, because I had felt that way for several days and just attributed it to early pregnancy. However, when I went to the bathroom about an hour into our walk, I was panicked to discover I was (perhaps TMI) gushing blood--LOTS of it. I immediately started shaking and crying and trying to call Gloria (my nurse) from the bathroom stall. Unfortunately, she was at lunch, and the on-duty nurse couldn't tell me much more than 1) they had not yet received the results of my blood test; and 2) I needed to get the hell out of that zoo as fast as possible and get home to bed.

Teri took off and summoned the zoo shuttle to come pick us up, so thankfully, I didn't have to try to walk the mile out of there. I was in a total daze all the way home, certain that I was miscarrying; in my mind, the whole thing was over before it had ever really started, and I was devastated. However, Gloria called me back as we were walking into the house and told me my beta number was 112 (a good, strong number for that early); and she was surprisingly unconcerned about the bleeding. She told me that it's totally common, especially in women who have had as much "work done" as I have and not to worry. She said just take it easy over the weekend and come back in for another beta on Monday. Remember, this was Thursday--THURSDAY!!!--so this was much easier said than done.

Billy and I decided to go out to the lake for the weekend as we had previously planned. We figured I could relax just as easily out there as I could at home, if not moreso. I stayed on self-imposed bedrest most of the weekend, and while I continued to have spotting for the next three days, I didn't have any more major bleeding. I was still convinced, however, that I was having a miscarriage, despite the fact that I continued to get BFP's on the HPT's I was taking every morning. I know those home tests detect HCG at around 50, so I knew my number could have dropped and I would still get a positive. Something about POAS was reassuring, though, so I continued to do it. It was all I had, really, at that point.

On Monday the 14th (my BIRTHDAY, FGS!) I went back for my second beta test. This time I got the callback as I was sitting at Pappa's Seafood for my birthday lunch with my family. The news was still worrisome: my beta had only risen to 246. The good news was that it had risen, but it SHOULD have been up around 400 by that time and it wasn't. Things still did not look promising. And Gloria STILL could not tell me much other than to come back Wednesday for yet another test.

FINALLY...my beta came back at 620 on Wednesday! Gloria said everything looked good, and I could stop worrying so much and start getting excited about this pregnancy. Billy and I were so relieved that we both cried. It was just SUCH a relief, I can't even describe it.

We will have our first ultrasound on Tuesday, and I will feel much better after that. If everything is going well, we should be able to see the baby AND a heartbeat, which will make it all seem much more real. I'll post an update (and, hopefully, a picture) then...

Love to all!!!